


Melancholia

by dondrapers_pen



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky killed you, F/M, Fluff and Smut, He wants to kill Bucky, Humor, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Reverse Chronology, Sam has cute memories of you, sam is pissed, you die
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-10 15:57:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6992407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dondrapers_pen/pseuds/dondrapers_pen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Told in reverse chronological order, Sam Wilson is faced with a problem he can't fix, a divided friendship, and the violent loss of you, his love. Sam deals with your loss by remembering how he met you and all you two had gone through while dealing with the moral and ethical decision of killing the man who took everything from him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Melancholia

**Author's Note:**

> Sam always remembered you liked daisies.

Your favorite flowers are daisies. Sam doesn’t particularly know why because a girl like you deserves roses and tulips. He never bothered questioning it, although it would forever boggle his mind as to why you only like standard daisies. Those thin, weak pure white petals that clipped around a disgustingly bright yellow floret. 

Sam didn’t remember a lot of things- he forgot your birthday sometimes, he occasionally forgot where you were meeting up for dinner, and he would more than often forget the days when you were working late. If there was one thing he could remember for this one day- was that you liked daisies. 

He placed them down, somewhere in the midst of all the other flowers on your grave. He also found it quite hard to look at the most beautiful picture they could have chosen for your portrait. Flashy smile, creasing and happy eyes, silky hair. Why did it have to be you?

The crinkling of grass caught his attention and he forced himself to snap his head up back into a reality he wished he didn’t have to face. He immediately stuffed his clenched fists into his pockets, and stared straight ahead at your carefully written name on the tombstone. 

“Hey,” he heard. 

Steve was in his same position, hands stuffed in his pockets and a stoic expression on his face. Though he did maintain some guilt on his face, it was nothing compared to Sam’s usually cheerful mood. Not even Natasha was able to cheer him up. 

It was weird seeing Sam without a playful smile on his face. It was even more weird not being able to hear him crack some wise quip every so often. Steve knew that Sam would never be the same. 

“I’m…I’m really sorry, Sam.”

“Yeah,” said Sam, voice clear and collected as always. Even those who were close to him such as yourself never really knew how he maintained it. “Yeah, me too.”

“I know how much she meant to you. She meant a lot to me too, to all of us. She didn’t deserve it.”

“I’ll kill him if I have to, Steve.”   Steve’s head turned, face firm and jaw locked in place. 

“I know you will. But you-“

“Steve, I know damn well he’s your friend. I just want you to know that I loved her. And he took her away from me.”

In turn, Steve didn’t exactly know how to answer him. With a less than reassuring sigh and a hand on Sam’s broad shoulder, he left. He couldn’t blame him for being mad at Buck, not when he took the life of one of his closest friends and one of the only sources of Sam’s happiness. What was he to do? 

Sam didn’t like to cry, but when he heard the sound of crunching leaves diminish, he let his own tears fall. It was uncharacteristic of himself to do this, but those large eyes of your’s staring back at him threw him into a state of pensive hatred for the man that did this to you. 

“I’m sorry,” he said to no one physically, “that I couldn’t save you. That I let you down. I’ll do whatever it takes…to make sure you didn’t die in vain. I’ll do it for you. I’ll do anything for you- if it means you’re happy.”


End file.
